Dear NCAA Football,
We've had a lot of good times together in the past when you were the only sport I was seeing. And I hope we continue to have those good times - I don't want to stop seeing you anymore. But - that fight we had last year over the Big Ten Network? That was a pretty big fight, and I think I'm still a little hurt by that. We don't see enough of each other as it is, and then you had to go and say you couldn't find a way to get to me for half the season. But it's okay, that's all fixed now, right? I mean, you might be making me buy a new TV, but I'll do that for you.
It's just that when we don't see each other from January to August, I get a little lonely. Sure, that party we throw in January is a lot of fun, and the Draft is a nice little surprise visit, but that's hardly a fulfilling relationship for eight months, is it? Now, I'm not going to start hooking up with your friend, NFL or anything, even if he is way more popular than you are. But, well, I flirted a little with MLS the other night, and it was kind of fun. Not the same sort of passion you and I share, of course, but it was a fun night.
The thing is ... I've started seeing WNBA recently, and I think ... I think we really have something. She's nothing like you, of course, but she's got passion, and the excitement and fast-paced action that you and I share. And, I'm sorry NCAAF, but she's prettier than you are. I know people have always accused me of staying with you for your, ahem, players, but you know that's not true. And I don't think that's true with WNBA, but she is kinda nice to look at, I admit. Apparently, I like girls too...
I want us to stay together, NCAAF, and I'm really excited about you visiting me next month. But I think I want to see other people while you're gone. You're okay with that, right? We'll always have the winter. (NHL is still courting me, but I'm resisting so far. I might like to see him once in awhile, though, when you're not at the same party at the same time. You know how it is.)