It's been over a month since I blogged, and I could say it's been because I've been very busy. And indeed, this would be true. There are socks to knit, costumes to sew, work to do, and cleaning to be avoided. But, while true, it would not be accurate. A fine line, that.
More accurately, I've been savoring life. And my thoughts have been both too insignificant and too momentous to easily put into words. And perhaps a touch too private. But this blog is for me, yes? Those of you who come here to read what I'm knitting or to peruse my costume diaries may be forgiven if you skip posts that are not fibre related. This is one of those posts. And those of you who know me (or think you do) may be forgiven for skipping posts that are merely show-and-tell of my latest project.
My life is no more hectic or crazy than I wish it to be, as I'll admit in rare moments of honesty. As of right now, I have to finish knitting a pair of monstrous socks by the end of June, three costumes and assorted sewing by the beginning of July, three more costumes by the middle of August, and two more probable costumes by the middle of September. This is not, however, producing the expected panic. Perhaps this is because I am now completely overconfident in my abilities to
sew anything in 8 days. But I don't think this is completely it.
My life has settled into small circles of events. Hm. Have to clean out the townhouse tomorrow of the rest of my stuff. Okay. Friday maybe go with Shoryl while she gets a tattoo. Okay. A part of my brain still says "Ack! Two sewing days lost!" The rest of me smiles and shrugs it off. Hello? Yes,
shrugs it off. As in deals with it in a rational and controlled manner. How is this possible?
I'm content. I took a walk today. Outside. Those who don't know me fail to be mystified by this, but those who do ... are looking at the calendar and wondering what the hell I was doing outside in June. Was I pressured? At gunpoint?
I walked under trees. I just did. And I maybe twitched at a fly or two. But there were many unidentified
things in the air that did not make me twitch.
My life is ... good. I have an amazing woman, who loves me and whom I adore; a home filled with people that care about me; a job that, while not intellectually stimulating is not horrendous; hobbies that
are intellectually stimulating. I don't know if it just took passing 30 to bring it to me (though I have my suspicions), but I'm content. I really don't feel like I have room to complain right now. Sure, there are still money problems, still critters that make me panic, still troubles to be dealt with. But in the face of all of this, I've found my place. It's like finding your sea legs, or being able to stand on the bus. It doesn't really change anything, but it makes the journey easier.
So none of this is world-breaking, or even particularly interesting to anyone but me. Perhaps next time I show up, I'll have some interesting pictures to show you of what I'm doing. Until then, I think I'll go meditate, then work on some sewing.
Oh, and I need to take toilet paper to the third floor. The small, mundane circles of life. And I'm happy to be here.